I understand that in your culture you have a right of passage when a boy takes the step of moving from boyhood to manhood. Well this is what a boy or even a young man needs to do to fully move into independent manhood.
*Get rid of your star wars pajamas.
*Move out of mama's house.
*Get your own place to live.
*Get a full time job.
*Get out of debt.
*Pursue a woman.
*Protect her purity.
*Marry her.
*Start a family and pass down a Godly legacy through your children.
MEN, we have - A work to do, A command to obey, and a woman to love and protect.
Jesus sets the standard of manhood.
1.)King - leader/servant
2.)Warrior - protector
3.)Lover - giver
4.)Friend - stands beside
These 4 expressions of manhood compliment each other, perfectly matching with the others and each one balancing the other.
*1st Face is the KING FACE*
~This face does not come easily into a man's life. This face must be cultivated over time. Your parents, coaches, or even your hero's can help contribute to create this face. It can come from great stories or persevering through problems. It can come from incorporating faith into your life. Over time this face is formed and it is the principle of loving what is right. It is the love of right over the love of comfort or circumstances or what is convenient. That is the king face.
~It's the face that shows when man is asked to cheat on a business deal, but he wont! It shows when it's time to keep a promise, even when keeping that promise is really going to cost you. It's the face a man shows when he risks his own life to save another person. This face shows when he pays back what he owes and when he reurns what he has borrowed. It shows when a man is tempted to be unfaithful to his wife. To cheat on his wife! When he is tempted to violate what God desires for his life in the area of sexual relationships. He remembers what God's word says in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 and he does not do it! It's the face a man shows when he could take advantage of another person and choses not to, or when he sees a friend's life out of control or on the path of destruction and steps in and speaks up to confront his friend in love and call him back to what is noble and just and risk his friendship. It is that face he shows when he does not blink in the face of danger. It is the face that does not waver, even though he knows there are risks and consequences. It is the King face!
~Story of King David 2 Samuel 11-12 - David the king of Israel had an adultery with Bathsheeba, another man's wife, tried to cover it up by bringing her husband home to sleep with his wife, even got him drunk but Uriah turned out to be a better man drunk than David was sober. David had Uriah killed and took his wife. Then Nathan, a prophet demonstrated his king face by confronting the king about his sin even though King David could have had him killed on the spot. The king face showed up with David when after he was confronted about his sin, instead of killing Nathan, he confessed his sin, asked God for forgiveness and repented. He did not try to lie his way out. The king face does not mean never sinning, but it does mean being truthful about my sin. Being willing to confess my sin and turn away from it.
The king face is characterized by:
*Strong convictions (firmly held belief)
*Courageous moral choices
*A servant's spirit (Jesus came to serve)
*Righteous leadership
~These traits are brought out as we live out our lives. Every man here is in the process of forming this in their character. Each difficulty you face and overcome will create this face in you and if you handle your challenges with nobility, you honor the God you serve.
~A King Face is described in Proverbs 4:18 - "the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn or the first gleam of dawn, shinning ever brighter till the full light of day." So as a man moves along in life the light they shine will shine brighter and brighter.
~Proverbs 20:7 - "a righteous man who walks in integrity, how blessed are his sons after him." There is alot you can give your son, clothes, go to sporting events for support, material gifts, but the greatest gift you can give him is integrity. You place into his sol a substance he cannot get anywhere else. It builds into his life a solid core out of which he can live life and draw from for the rest of his life. Without that solid core of integrity you have now brought up a man who acts like a child and who as the apostle Paul describes in Ephesians 4:14 "tossed back and forth by the waves of life and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming."
~What is integrity? - It is the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards. How blessed are the sons of a father who has taught his son integrity both through his word and his life. This is the King Face.
*2nd Face is the WARRIOR FACE*
~A warrior takes responsibility for his marriage and says we can overcome this problem in our marriage. God will grant us the wisdom and the will to overcome. On september 11, 2001 men took over 4 airplanes in America and began to crash them into major buildings in New York and Washington D.C. killing thousands of people. The people on the last plane heard what was being done and realized they could save many lives by trying to take back control of the plane, and if necessary, sacrafice their own lives. They made the decision to take back control of the plane regardless of the danger and when they began their attempt they shouted out, "Let's Roll!" All of them were killed when the plane crashed into a field, but no one was killed on the ground and no buildings were struck. A warrior is willing to sacrafice himself for the good of others.
The face of a warrior shows that:
*There is something within us that enjoys a challenge.
*It takes life head on. It does not run from a fight.
*It works hardest and longest and outlasts the competition.
+ But if a warrior gets out of control, it gets destructive and can become a compulsive workaholic.
A warrior face is characterized by:
*Initiative - the ability to act on your own.
*Protection - willing to safeguard someone.
*Provision - i will take care of you regardless.
*Endures - the will to bear hardship and tolerate disagreeable circumstances.
*Fights for what is right!
+ A true warrior is constructive (Builds Up) not destructive (Tears Down).
~A warrior has conquering energy that will not quit. I am going to get this done, I am going to pay off this debt, we are going to figure this out.
~1 Timothy 6:11-12 - "pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, take hold of the eternal life to which you were called." Pursue means to seize. Perseverance is from a word that means to abide, to remain under, to bear up with courage under suffering, to patiently endure Hebrews 12:2. This is Paul's challenge to Timothy. These are noble terms. They call out a man to be a man. They call out the warrior in a man. These things are not easily done in life and require the power of the life of Christ in us. An older man, Paul, looking into the face of a younger man, Timothy, and calling him out to take up the sword of the Spirit and pursue these things. The warrior Paul, is calling out to Timothy to be a Warrior for Christ and fight the good fight.
*3rd Face is the LOVER FACE*
~As natural as it may be for a man to be a warrior, it is just as innatural for him to be a lover in the right sense of the word. The lover notices the real needs that his wife has and does what is necessary to help to meet those needs. One who is willing to sacrafice his time and his wants for the good of his wife and his children. As Christ was willing to sacrafice himself for our good. He has learned to step up and help when his wife has a heavy load at home. He realizes that as the head of that home he is responsible to set a Christ like example of serving others. He is willing to spend time with his wife, to allow her to share her thoughts, her fears, her needs and her dreams. He is willing to pray for his wife and even pray with his wife. I call that spiritual intimacy. He is willing to seek the opinion of his wife on major decisions that involve the family. He does not shut off what God has provided as a helper suitable for him as Eve was described in the book of Genesis. He has learned to share the hurt and pain and disappointment in his life with his wife and connect with her on an emotional level.
The Lover reflects romantic energy which is characterized by:
*Tenderness - kindness and sympathy.
*Sensitivity - thoughtful and perceptive.
*Beneficial care - Jesus was willing to wash feet.
*Emotional openness - allows her to see inside, honest about his feelings and fears.
*Physical affection - give her a hug when she is not expecting, express love with words and actions.
~The lover face is seen in scripture in the book of Ephesians when the apostle Paul gave a tall order to men of all generations and cultures. Ephesians 5:25 - Here is how you are to put on the face of a lover. As a husband you give yourself up for the sake of your wife. You are willing to love your wife as God loves you, sacraficially, the giving up of yourself for her good and God's glory. Colossians 3:19 "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." This is what the Lover Face looks like.
*4th Face is the FRIEND FACE*
~Most men do not have friends that is real friends. Part of the reason we do not in our world, is that we do not have time. We want a friend, but many of us have failed to realize that to have friends, you have to be a friend. So we live in these superficial relationships where we do not trust the secret things of our lives to anyone, and worse, we have no one who will talk tough to us when we need to hear hard things. We need someone who knows us well enough and cares enough to confront us when we need it. Those kind of relationships require time. You cannot climb the mountain of manhood and reach its peaks disconnected from other men. You have to be connected with other men who can:
*Speak into your life.
*Call out the best in you.
*Cheer for your success.
*Admire your noble acts.
*And be your friend.
The Friend face reflects connecting energy. It is characterized by:
*Loyalty - faithfulness, allegiance, feeling of devotion.
*Accountability - answerable to, responsible.
*Challenging - caring enough to confront, willing to face up to difficult decisions.
*Fun - enjoyable, able to spend time together doing a project or playing sports.
~It is also a friend that notices good tings in your life and compliments you on them and encourages you. Proverbs 17:17 "a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity." Some of you men may be longing for this, but you don't know how to be a friend. Proverbs 27:17 "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." We need another man rubbing up against us to help rub off some of the hard spots in our lives. A friend who is willing to do whatever is necessary for our good and God's glory.
*The King, The Warrior, The Lover, The Friend*
~A culture that increasingly disconnects fathers from sons, leads to sons who do not properly frow into manhood. Sons raised primarily by over dominating females frow up as weak warriors, because a warrior is called out by older men, a mentor, a father, or a coach. A boy is called out to become a warrior not to be passive but willing to take a stand for right and make the hard decisions that life often requires like Adam and Eve. Our world is desperate for this 4 faced balanced manhood.
North, South, East, West - 4 directions
Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall - 4 seasons
Earth, Wind, Fire, Water - 4 elements
King, Warrior, Lover, Friend - the kind of men that this world desperately needs!
When you look in the mirror, what kind of man do you see?
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